Dave Says: Dad Already Made the Decision

Dear Dave,

My father-in-law passed away earlier this year. Since then, my wife and I have faced a dilemma because of the inheritance. Her dad had several life insurance policies, and he left one to her and one to each of her siblings. The one he left my wife was bigger than the ones he left to the others, and now her sister who received the smallest settlement is angry about the situation. She wants more, and it’s causing a real dilemma within the family. I told my wife I am okay with doing what she feels is best. What are your thoughts?  

Dear Daniel,

So, your wife’s sister feels like she’s entitled to something their dad didn’t want her to have? The arrogance of your sister-in-law is appalling. If their dad had wanted her sister to have a different policy, he would’ve put her name on the other policy. I mean, it was his decision, not hers.

Giving someone money because you think it will enhance or save a relationship is a really bad idea. A relationship that’s purchased isn’t a real relationship—it’s prostitution. If giving this sister money is the only way she’ll act right or ever speak to you guys again, then she ain’t worth having. That’s no longer someone you should feel the need to impress, and it’s not on you guys if she decides to pitch a fit or sever the relationship.

This is a heart decision, a conscience decision. I would advise you and your wife to make it together and be in full agreement. I’m sorry you two are going through this, but the idea her sister deserves more just because she wants more? Sounds like their dad already made his feelings known on that subject.    

— Dave

  * Dave Ramsey is an eight-time #1 national bestselling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. Hehas appeared on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and many more. Since 1992, Dave has helped people take control of their money, build wealth and enhance their lives. He also serves as CEO for Ramsey Solutions.